Eighty Thousand
by electric violinist
Summary: My version of the deli reveal, as it stands in my dreams until Hollyoaks smash my hopes to pieces.
1. Chapter 1

"You what?"

Ste knew his voice was screechy. People were looking at him curiously, but he didn't care. He couldn't believe his ears.

"I borrowed the…"

"Yeah! I heard ya, Doug!" he interrupted. Of course he heard, he just couldn't believe it was possible.

"I'm sorry, I know you didn't want to but…"

"Didn't want to's an understatement, Doug! Told you and him that I'd rather die's closer to what happened!"

"But Ste," Doug pleaded, gesturing at the deli, "all this would never have happened without it. There was no other way we could have got the money."

"Then we shouldn't have got it. Do you know what this means, Doug?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It's just a loan, like from a bank, and we'll pay it back and that'll be that."

Ste knew his jaw was on the floor. "Have you met Brendan Brady?"

"Yes, and I know how you feel about him, but…"

"Well, obviously ya don't, cos otherwise you'd never have done it!"

"Ste, chill out, he just wanted to help."

"Oh, yeah, cos that's what he said? Yeah, that's gotta be true, I mean, Brendan never lies, does he? Except when words are coming out of his mouth!"

"He hasn't even asked for anything, though, has he? He didn't mind you not knowing."

"Oh, so it was your idea to lie to me, was it?"

"Ste…"

"Oh, just leave it Doug!" Ste shouted, and stormed off. He felt like screaming, like throwing himself at the wall and destroying everything in his path. He felt so stupid. How could he have believed that this was him doing something for himself, making something of his life? He was never going to do that. He was always going to be under someone's thumb. His step Dad's, Brendan's, whose was irrelevant. He never had belonged to himself, or been his own man, and he never would.

He stormed across the road. He didn't even realise where he was going until he'd climbed the stairs and was staring at Brendan Brady.

"Steven," said the lilt that once upon a time made his heart beat that little faster at every syllable. A casual observer might think Brendan was waiting for him, but Ste knew when he wasn't expected. It was like he couldn't manage to mask his interest in his prey when it did something unexpected, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Smug, smooth, irritating bastard.

"Doug told me."

Brendan tilted his head on one side. "How cryptic, Steven."

Ste rolled his eyes, but Brendan didn't seem to notice.

"What did the cardiganned American tell you that was so important you expect me to read your mind?"

"What do you want?" Ste demanded.

Brendan mock-frowned at him, "It's customary, Steven, when person A seeks out person B, it is person A that wants something."

"I know you gave Doug the money for the deli."

"Oh," smirked Brendan, "that."

"Yeah, and so now I want to know what you want."

He stared at him, like maybe if he never let him out of his sight, Brendan wouldn't be able to lie again.

"Why should I want anything, Steven?" Brendan almost chirped, "maybe I just did it out of the goodness of my heart."

"You don't have any goodness of your heart."

Brendan was enjoying this far too much. "Maybe, as a business man, I could see the potential in a good investment, situated conveniently on my doorstep."

"Yeah, right, you were always on about how I was gonna fail before."

"Well, why don't you enlighten me, then, Steven? Why did I lend Douglas eighty thousand pounds to start your wee business?"

Ste's mouth fell open. The amount was out of this world. He couldn't pay that off if he worked until he was a hundred.

"Come on, Steven, I thought you were all ready to accuse me of something."

He was such a smug bastard.

"You did it because you have to be in control," Ste announced, "even when you hate me and want me out of your life, you still want to have your hold over me. You see me moving on, getting away from you, and you just have to find a way back in there, to mess with my head."

Brendan looked at him quietly, letting him talk.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, voice thoughtful, quiet.

"That's what I know!" Ste replied, certain of himself and folding his arms.

"You think…" said Brendan, slowly, "that I paid Douglas eighty thousand pounds so I could 'mess with your head'?" he laughed, "I can think of more cost effective ways to do that, Steven."

God, that was a terrifying amount of money.

"To put yourself in charge, yeah, you would. And it's not like you think you won't get it back again, is it?"

Brendan laughed, "But I thought I expected you to fail. Isn't that what you said a minute ago?"

"Then what do you want then?" Ste shouted, furious he was being talked around in circles, that Brendan wasn't just holding his hands up and backing off, or being angry or showing his true colours or something. "Because I know you Brendan. You don't do nice. You never could. You can't even do stuff that will make yourself happy if there's a chance it might be hard. All you care about is yourself, and having the rest of us on strings."

And suddenly Brendan was on him, pushing him back until he hit the banister. Ste clawed at the hands on his shoulders, but knew from experience they wouldn't let go until Brendan was ready.

"I don't care about anyone, do I? You really think that, do you Steven? You think, knowing what I have done for you that I would blink at a few grand?"

"Let go of me!" Thoughts of Danny Houston never failed to freak him out.

"You think the way I feel about you just disappeared, do ye? You turn your back on me when I need you most, and you think I could do the same to you?"

"What?"

"You think you know me so well, do ye Steven? I didn't know when Dougie boy would cave in and let it slip, but I knew every word you were gonna say to me when he did. I knew how long it would take you to get here, and I know exactly what you've said to Doug."

"I ain't said anything to Doug."

"What, didn't have it out with him before you cut off in the middle to come here? Go home, Steven, go back to your little Douglas and your lies, and my deli, but remember, I will always be here, and I will always be watching, and there is nothing you can do that'll change that."

And Brendan let go, turned and disappeared into the office. After a moment of stunned silence, Ste turned on his heel, and ran down the stairs. He did almost as instructed. He went straight home, back to his flat, and locked himself in, with nothing but Brendan's face and words to fill his mind and not a moment's peace.


	2. Chapter 2

It took a really long time for Ste to calm down. It was into the next day in fact. He didn't bother going into the deli. He'd managed all by himself when Doug had been 'sorting his head out', now it was Doug's turn to see what that was like.

But still Brendan's words were running angrily through his head. When had Ste turned his back on him? What did he mean by all that?

But Ste knew. All that time in prison, Cheryl worried stupid about him being beaten up, and Ste too scared or angry or selfish to check on him. But what did Brendan expect? They weren't together, and that wasn't at Ste's choice.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew it was the last thing he should do. He knew he should just leave it, forget it. Brendan lent Doug the money, not him. He could just pretend that it was nothing to do with him, he should pretend none of that stuff Brendan said had mattered to him. But that was never how Ste's mind had worked.

He was knocking on Brendan's door before he knew it. He didn't pause in the knocking until the door opened. He didn't need preamble.

"What did you think I was gonna do, Brendan, show up at the prison sobbing like some heartbroken wife?"

"Good morning, Brendan, good morning Steven, did you sleep well, Brendan, why yes, like a baby, Steven, thank you for asking."

Ste ignored him, and pushed past. "I thought you'd killed Rae."

The door was slammed behind him. "You thought I… You thought I was capable of that?" Brendan's face was livid.

"I know you're capable of it Brendan, remember?"

Brendan's fury grew, and Ste took a step back involuntarily, memories of fists accompanying that face driving him. Brendan clocked the movement and grunted, but Ste couldn't let it his own cowardice stop him.

"So what do you actually want from me Brendan?"

Brendan pierced him with that gaze. The temper seemed to be cooling, but that look still made Ste's heart beat faster and stomach flip. He couldn't let him stop him. He had to press on.

"Cause, when you sacked me, right, you said you were fed up of my whining voice. You nearly cracked me ribs, just because I let Declan have a couple of hours to calm down before I brought him back, and then yesterday… Just, what do you actually want?"

Brendan breathed out, his expression now more thoughtful than aggressive, "I want you Steven."

Ste fought back the part of him that wanted to lower his eyes and submit to the words.

"But you don't, though. You've shown me again and again, you don't."

Brendan advanced on him, expression intense and serious. "I will always want you Steven."

"I've heard it all before Brendan!"

"Yeah, I've made mistakes. I'll admit that Steven."

"I can't pay back the money!" Ste blurted out. "It's too much, I don't know if I ever will."

And Brendan was on top of him. "So what?" he whispered, drinking in Ste's face, staring at him like he hadn't seen another human in centuries.

"So, do you want me? Or do you want to buy me?"

Brendan stroked his face, so tenderly, "What are on about now, Steven?"

"Is this you trying to control me again?" Ste asked, "'cause I can't do that again, Brendan. I can't be your little secret to shag when you get the urge."

"Steven…"

"'Cause what I've got with Doug, right, that's real. He told everyone he was gay so he could be with me. That's more than you were ever brave enough to do."

Brendan laughed ever so gently, "You're really comparing what Douglas did for you to what I have done for you?"

"He cares about me."

"I love you!"

Ste couldn't argue with that. He knew it was true, that Brendan in his own twisted way loved him.

"I love you too," he said.

And Brendan's lips were on his, a fire they hadn't felt in months, that they hadn't experienced in far too long. His mouth was warm and so strong and inviting.

But he had to pull away.

"Brendan, if we do this, if you mean it, it can't be about you controlling me."

"It won't," said Brendan, kissing him again.

Ste pulled away again, "What about the deli?"

"What about it?"

"It's gotta be mine. Not yours. It can't be something that you own, something you've got over me."

"It won't be," Brendan mumbled, kissing him again. Ste got lost in that kiss. He always could with Brendan. Everything about it felt like fire. But there was still fear. This always blew up in his face.

"No," Ste said suddenly.

"What?" said Brendan between kisses on Ste's neck.

"No, I can't just sleep with you 'cause you made some more empty promises, no."

"What?" Brendan said again, this time with more care, looking at Ste properly.

"I said I can't just…"

"Yeah, I heard what you said, Steven," he searched his face and Ste knew he must look the picture of sexual need. He always did when Brendan was this close. Brendan smirked, "So… you want me to stop?"

He put a hand on Ste's hip, temptingly close to the places that would drive Ste over the edge. "No," croaked Ste in a strangled voice. Brendan put his head forward again, ready to resume, "Yes," croaked Ste, remembering the argument, and pushing Brendan off him again. "How stupid would I have to be to fall for it all again?"

"It's not about you falling for it, Steven, it's about us doing what we both need to do."

"What, shag?" said Ste sceptically.

"No Steven. Be together."

Ste held onto Brendan's shoulders, keeping him away, trying to help himself think straight.

"Are you serious? You want a proper relationship? With me?"

"I hate being without ye, Steven."

"But how do I know you're not lying again?"

Brendan sighed, exasperated, "What will ya have me do, Steven?"

Ste thought for a bit. "We tell people we're together."

"'Course."

"_Before _we sleep together."

Brendan frowned. "You mean you don't just wanna get down to it here and now?"

"I need to know for sure, Brendan."

"OK," sighed Brendan, "OK, I'll go get a megaphone then shall I? Does it need to be pink or will a normal one do?"

"And you sign the deli over to me proper."

"What?"

"You can't just be in control of me, Brendan. You can't own my business, and be able to hold it over me forever. It's got to be mine."

"Steven, that's eighty thousand pounds of my money."

"Yeah," Ste smiled, "and I thought you did that out of the goodness of your heart?"

Brendan snorted, "So, let me get this straight, you will get back with me, if I sign over eighty-thousand pounds worth of business, to you, free of charge?"

"It's not your business, though," insisted Ste, "it's mine, I built it, I made it happen, I created the menu, I run it."

Brendan was looking at him levelly. "Alright," he said and walked out the door. Ste looked about the flat in confusion, then followed him.

"Where are you going?" he called after the dark haired man.

"To the club," Brendan replied, without turning.

"Why?"

"You don't think I keep the paper work in the flat do you?"

"Oh," Ste said, and fell into step beside him. It was odd, walking beside Brendan in the open air. It was almost normal.

"How are the kids?" asked Brendan, casually.

"Er, yeah, they're good , thanks," Ste replied, taken aback by such a normal conversation with Brendan Brady, "Leah got all excited about the Deli, and they both lo…."

He'd been about to say they love Doug, but that was probably not the best thing to bring up at that moment.

Brendan's lips tensed and the corners turned briefly downwards. Ste tried to move the conversation on.

"How are the boys?"

Brendan's face grew even darker, and he grumbled something Ste didn't hear. Ste decided not to press that, either.

They hit the bottom of the steps, more than one curious face glancing their way. Doug's friend Leanne sent them a proper scowl. Brendan smirked at the sight.

"Let's start as we mean to go on, what?" he grinned, and put an arm around Ste's shoulders.

Ste nearly collapsed in shock. He'd fought to stop himself believing that Brendan could really have changed that much. They'd barely touched where anyone might see before, and now he quite comfortably announced their relationship with his actions where all the world could stare.

True, it wasn't exactly a sweet move. The strength and weight of the arm felt more like a statement of control and possession than a genuine demonstration of affection. But Brendan Brady had put an arm around Ste's shoulder.

They passed the deli. Ste didn't look in. He wasn't ready for Doug's face.

Brendan guided him into the club, which currently contained only cleaners, and into the office. He shut the door firmly behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

Brendan dug through the filing cabinet then pulled out some paper covered in black text. Ste worried that he was going to have to read all that. It would take him ages.

But Brendan surprised him. He waved it in front of his face, and pointed at the signature at the bottom of the back page. Douglas Carter. Ste felt betrayed anew to see it. How could Doug do that to him? They hadn't been together back then, but he'd made out he was such a good friend.

Of course, Brendan was part of that deception too, and that dug at Ste even as he stood before him and watched the contract being torn apart.

"That's for now," Brendan announced, "I'll make an appointment with the solicitor for later on and we'll make it all official."

"Right," replied Ste, nervously, watching the ripped pieces of paper flutter to the floor.

"And was that enough to show people we're together, or…"

"Er…"

"Or do we have to get down to it in full view of the village?"

"No…"

"Really? 'Cause there's a slot machine in the Dog that needs Christening."

"Bren!" laughed Ste.

"No? O, that's a shame. Well, no time like the present then."

"Is it all about sex for you?" Ste asked, half joking, half serious as Brendan stalked towards him.

Brendan stepped forward, closer and closer to Ste, his face gentle and loving, a contented smile playing about his lips. He stroked Ste's face and stared into his eyes. Ste's legs felt a little wobbly from the intensity of that gaze.

"Course it is," Brendan growled.

"Oi!" cried Ste, knocking the hand away from him.

"I'm joking Steven."

"Well, you better be."

"Well, normally sex doesn't cost me eighty thousand pounds."

Ste put his hands on Brendan's chest. "Are you sure this isn't going to… you know."

"What?"

"Are you going to hurt me again?"

Brendan sighed, "I've never meant to hurt you Steven."

"But you have though."

"Are you going to pretend to be innocent here, though?"

"You what?"

"I seem to remember waking up in hospital once because of you."

Ste screwed up his face, "Once, and because of everything you did. And I think you more than got revenge for that one."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Brendan muttered, "and I know I can't make up for the way I've treated you before."

Ste looked at the floor, "No, you can't."

"Hey," Brendan cooed gently, putting a hand under his chin and lifting his head so their gazes met once more, "I know I can't. But I can promise that I will never stop loving you."

"But what if I said no, now?" asked Ste, testing him, pushing him, expecting the fists to come out. "You've ripped up the contract. I could just walk out now, take you for the money and go."

Brendan's face flickered.

"It's what I should do. Take you for everything and run." Ste continued.

Brendan almost growled.

"What would you do then, Brendan?" Ste cooed, "could you handle that?"

Brendan's hands hit the wall on either side of Ste's head, and Ste flinched, feeling fear run through him.

"If you did that, Steven," Brendan growled, "I would be very, very upset."

"Is that a threat?" Ste almost whimpered.

Brendan breathed heavily, his face inches from Ste's. He stared at Ste, face angry, body tense.

"Come on, Brendan," Ste hissed, "show me what you're really like."

Brendan's breathing became a snort, then a chuckle. "If you did that, Steven, I would be upset, but I wouldn't take it out on you."

Ste breathed, "Really?"

"Really," Brendan whispered.

"Right," said Ste, glancing at the arms that hadn't completely untensed.

"So, are you gonna go then? Steven," Brendan breathed.

Ste shook his head.

"Good," said Brendan, and kissed him.

Pure passion over took Ste as he kissed back, their tongues immediately battling with each other, Ste's arms winding around Brendan's neck. Brendan pressed his body fully against Ste's, and Ste against the wall behind him. Ste felt like his body was ready to explode as he felt every inch of his body pressed by the strong firm body of his sometime lover. The love of his life? Maybe. No one else filled his thoughts in such a way, even when he wasn't there, even when he was fighting against it.

Brendan's hands left the wall, and he realised they were on pushing up his top. They broke this kiss to get Ste's tee-shirt over his head, and Ste moved his arms to pull at the buttons on Brendan's shirt. The kissing was addictive, so even as they pulled and tugged at each other's clothes, the kiss was almost never broken.

Brendan suddenly pulled Ste away from the wall, and pushed him back towards the desk. Ste, not wanting to slow even for a moment, hopped on, and pulled Brendan into him with his legs.

"God I've missed this," Brendan hissed, then reached behind Ste to wipe the table clear. Ste snorted at the flying stationary.

"What?" Brendan cooed.

"Just, that was so silly, like something off the telly."

"Silly, or sexy?" growled Brendan.

Ste smirked, "Bit of both."

And the kissing began again.

xxxxxxxxxxxx…..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx…xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx…xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brendan felt on top of the world. He'd just had the most amazing sex of his life with the boy who never left his mind, and was now waiting for said boy to return so they could continue where they left off.

Totally worth eighty grand.

Not that he was really going to let it be that simple, but what Steven didn't know didn't hurt him.

He relaxed in his office chair, feet on the desk, head resting back in his hands, thinking about what he could do next. Two legitimate businesses (and some other not so legitimate) under his control, Steven back in his bed, the world at his feet; he could feel the shift of his fortunes. He'd even passed Steven's little tests. Just. He smiled, thinking about it. He was getting wilier, was Steven. Demanding the business, pushing Brendan to see how much he could control his temper. It made Brendan feel strangely proud. A weaker man would have been truly cowed by Brendan by now, or have just given in to the urges, or run away. But Steven was unlike anyone else he'd ever known.

Sometimes thinking about Steven shocked Brendan with how strongly he felt.

He could take on anyone when he felt like this.

The door burst open.

He didn't jump because he was hoping Steven would be that quick. He was not expecting the cardigan that ran in though.

"Douglas," he greeted, pretending things were going exactly as he had expected.

He spotted the tears, the hand that wiped the snot from his nose. The American was a mess.

This should be interesting, Brendan thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So, this was going to just be a fix it, but now I'm almost crying at the way the show is going. So some of you will be pleased to know that this is turning into a much longer story where I can cherry pick the things I like and ignore everything I don't and go into my own world of denial. On the other hand, I warn you, this may therefore, not be a very happy chapter. I understand if you need to get over the heart break of this week before you read it, but I can promise you what the show won't – I love Stendan in an obsessive, not entirely healthy way, that I should have grown out of by now, and there are some truths that I will never ignore or stamp on – Steven loves Brendan and Brendan loves Steven.**

**Enjoy!**

Douglas really was crying. God he was pathetic. Brendan had never cried over Steven.

Well, he'd not cried in front of muscle Mary, anyway, and he sure as hell would never have cried in front of someone like Brendan Brady.

"Was there something you wanted, Dougy boy?"

"Are you and Ste back together?"

Brendan smiled to himself and relaxed back in his chair. "What do you think, Douglas?"

"Are you, or aren't you?"

Brendan smiled happily to himself. "You want to know if Steven loved you enough not to jump straight back into bed with me?"

"Did he?" Doug asked, sounding almost child-like.

"Hmm, now wouldn't that be telling."

"Brendan," Doug positively sobbed, "did you get back together?"

"Let me get this straight, Douglas, you think that your little love affair wasn't strong enough to withstand that wee confession of yours?"

"No, I think you twisted everything that happened so that he would come back to you!"

"And how much twisting do you think I would need to do?"

Doug gave up, "Did he take you back, or not?"

Brendan didn't even look at him, just smirked at the ceiling. "Of course he did, Douglas"

Douglas sobbed anew, and reverted to what was probably Doug's version of rage.

"I can't believe you! All that time he spent trying to get over you, all the things you've done to him, and he gets a tiny chance to be free and you have to pull him back in."

"He didn't take much pulling, Douglas."

"You selfish bastard!"

Ok, so he wasn't working very hard at making Douglas go, but Douglas still hadn't gone, and was starting to get irritating. Brendan swung his legs down to the floor, and looked at the American properly.

"Are we going to have a problem here, Douglas?" he asked, standing and using his full height as a reminder to the American that Brendan was the one with the power here.

"You don't even want him! Not really!"

Brendan felt a surge of annoyance. "Is that so?"

"No, you want him because I had him."

Brendan forced a laugh. Stupid Douglas. He didn't know what he was talking about.

"You saw he might be happy with someone so you had to destroy it!"

"I'd shut up now if I were you, Douglas."

"No, you're just a pathetic, jealous bully…"

"Douglas, most people don't get warnings from me."

"You're not even going to try make him happy. You just want to own him."

What was the boy expecting? A pat on the back? Brendan to step back admitting a gracious defeat at this nonsense? Brendan had him shoved against the wall in seconds. "Who do you think you're talking to, Douglas? One of your little student friends? I could have squashed you like a bug the moment I saw you touching my property. You're lucky you can still use your legs, yeah? So I'd start being a little more polite to me."

"You asshole!" Douglas groaned, almost too quiet to hear.

Brendan was going to punch this little shit's lights out.

"Brendan!" shouted a voice from the doorway. He always did have the worst fucking timing, did Steven. Coming in for round two when his beard was about to walk in, snogging in corridors when potential blackmailers were watching, walking in just after the pathetic little American had wound him up.

"Get off him!" Steven shouted, like Brendan was going to really hurt Douglas. As if.

"This little shit just needs reminding of who's in charge around here, Steven. Wait outside, and he'll be out of here in no time."

"What is wrong with you?" Steven shouted.

"Jesus, Steven!" He let go of Doug and shoved him out of the door.

"Ste," cried the pathetic American, "I swear I did it for you!"

O, God, he was going to play the victim, now.

"Ste!" the yank cried again. Brendan slammed the door on his face.

"Why did you do that?" demanded Steven.

"What did you expect me to do?" said Brendan, defensively.

"I can't believe you!" Steven cried.

"What's the matter with you now Steven?"

"I leave you alone for five minutes and I find you about to punch someone!"

"He took from me!"

Steven screwed up his face. "You what?"

Shit that wasn't the right thing to say.

"Nothing…"

"He took from ya? You mean…"

"No Steven!"

"You're on about me? What, you think you own me?"

"Steven…"

"You do, don't ya?"

"St…"

"You think you own me!" Steven shouted.

"Steven, will ya just…"

"No! No! I'm out of here. I'm gone!"

"Steven."

"Good bye Brendan."

He stormed to the door, and Brendan wasn't even thinking before he was on top of him, one hand slamming the door closed again, too outraged to talk.

Steven turned back to him, and this time the anger was replaced by the fear. Brendan imagined Steven's heart racing. It reminded him of the early days, when Steven had never really known if Brendan was about to hit him or kiss him. Except Brendan knew what he was expecting now. It was what Brendan was expecting. It was what he wanted to do, what his whole body expected him to do.

The moment stretched, both of them breathing hard, both of them waiting for Brendan's next move. Steven broke the spell first.

"Go on then, show me why I'm doing the right thing."

Brendan breathed hard. If he didn't do something, Steven would be out of his life again, and this whole thing would be for nothing. But if he let go and punched the boy, he'd still never see him again. He pushed his face close to Steven's.

"Stay," he hissed, somehow both a plea and a threat in the one word.

Steven looked at the floor.

"Steven," he whispered.

Still Steven didn't respond.

"Please," he found himself whispering.

Steven turned and put a hand on Brendan's chest.

"Brendan," he breathed, "you know… you know how I feel about you, you always have, but … but I just…" Steven breathed deeply, blinking away his own tears, "I can't be near you when you're like this. I can't be with ya, I can't… I can't …"

Brendan put his hand on Steven's face, but Steven pulled his face away.

"Please, Bren, just let me out."

When had this happened? When did it become such a mess of love and fear and pain?

"I won't give up, Steven."

Steven looked back at the floor and nodded. Brendan wasn't sure what he'd expected him to say. He pulled his arm back on the door, and Steven was out of it in moments. He could hear the footsteps running away from him, and each one pulled at his heart.

He knew certain truths.

He loved Steven. Obsessively; definitely, possessively; probably. But love was the truest word he could use for the feeling.

Despite what Steven forced himself to do, he felt the same way.

The American was an irrelevant obstacle, like Muscle Mary before him, and Rae before him.

There were things he needed to change if Steven was going to let him back in. Seduction would get him back in bed again eventually, but Steven would resent it in the end. It would make him miserable. He would make Steven miserable. The idea was strangely painful to him.

But could he change? Was he capable of it? He saw no reason why he shouldn't have beat the Yank to a bloody pulp. Did Steven want him to be some sort of girl, now? As if!

But he would find a way. He needed Steven like a fish needed water, and Steven needed him, whatever he said and however fast he ran away. They would always be that way, always dream of each other, always do whatever it takes for each other. And no one could stand in their way.

Least of all Brendan Brady.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So haven't really decided whether to carry this on or not. The show has moved on so far (some of which I like, some I don't) that this is now a weird alternative universe world, but kind of near the show. And I know I've taken a ridiculous amount of time to update. Basically, if you want it to continue and you like this chapter, do tell me, or if you no longer care, well, tell me that too, though possibly more tactfully than 'I no longer care' if that's OK.**

**Enjoy!**

Doug didn't need to know, Doug didn't need to know, Doug didn't need to know.

Well, obviously he knew Ste had been talking to Brendan, but he didn't need to know any more than that. Would it be a wrong not to tell him? It wasn't as if Doug had been completely honest with Ste.

Well, no, he was being very honest, now, wasn't he? Coming clean about the deli and all that. Did that mean Ste had to tell him all about the stuff with Brendan? It was all over now anyway. No, Ste wouldn't rock the boat What good would it really do?

No, Doug didn't need to know.

He knocked on Doug's front door, and after a few moments it was opened by Texas.

"He doesn't want to see you," she said, and closed it again.

What? He'd go and shout at Brendan but wouldn't talk to Ste? Ste turned and shuffled sadly towards the stairs back down. Well, that wasn't fair. He'd come to sort it all out. Doug had begged him to come back just hours ago. Why was he sulking now?

Ste turned around again. He was going to find out. Doug couldn't just send him away with no explanation. Even if he didn't want to be together anymore (though Ste was the one with a reason to be upset, not Doug!) they still had a business to run. He couldn't just not talk to him. Ste wasn't going to let him.

He turned back around, and stomped back to the flat, and knocked firmly again. No response. He'd lifted his hand to knock again when a cheerful voice greeted him from behind.

"Hello, Ste!" called Dennis, "here to see Doug?"

"Er, yeah," Ste replied, wondering if it was another example of his own dishonesty if he let Dennis invite him in without mentioning Doug's strop.

"Well, just a minute, I'll let you in," said Dennis, cheerfully.

"Ta," said Ste, quietly.

Dennis chattered away while he was opening the door. Ste didn't really listen, he just smiled and waited patiently. Dennis invited him in the moment he stepped through, and Ste followed without hesitation.

"Doug!" he shouted.

"Hey!" called Texas from upstairs, "I told you he didn't want to see you!"

"Why not?" Ste called back, "Doug, talk to me! What's going on?"

She trotted down the stairs to, "How did you even get in?" she demanded.

"I let him," volunteered Dennis, "is that not OK today?"

"No!" spat Texas.

"Yeah!" Ste cried simultaneously.

"Yes," came Doug's voice from higher up the stairs. He appeared behind Texas, and passed her. "Could you guys give us a minute, please? We need to talk."

"Are you sure?" Texas asked.

"Yeah," Doug replied with a reassuring expression. Texas glared at Ste one more time for luck, and disappeared.

"Er," said Dennis, "I'll just… sit in my room," and made a mess of passing Doug on his own way upstairs.

Ste watched him go, then looked at Doug expectantly.

"You took him back."

It wasn't a question. Ste flinched at the words, but they didn't cut deep.

"I was going to, but…"

"No, you did."

"Doug, I just…"

"You slept with him!"

Oh. So Doug already knew then.

"He told you?" Bloody Brendan, all 'I'm so in love with you that I'll never let you be happy.' Bastard

"Yeah, he did."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Ste thought hard. His mind was going a mile a minute.

"It didn't mean anything," he tried, lying through his teeth.

"Oh, right, yeah, you just slept with a man you've been in love with for like two years now, and it didn't mean anything."

"I'm not in love with him!" Ste protested, still lying.

Doug sighed, "I wish I could believe that Ste."

"No, I slept with him because I was angry, right, at what you did, you know, lying to me and stuff."

He hadn't expected Doug to believe him, it was a weak excuse, but Doug blinked. And Ste saw that hopeful look in his eye. Maybe it wasn't all over.

Ste continued. "You really hurt me, and I was angry, and he was there, but I know now it was a mistake. I'm sorry Doug."

"Right," Doug replied, thoughtfully. Ste stared at him, expectantly, waiting for a final response, a yes or no. "I need to think, Ste," the American said eventually.

"About what?" Ste asked.

"About whether or not I believe you don't love him. Because I don't want you to, but…"

That was quite annoying really..

"But what?" Ste demanded.

"But I think, maybe, all I've ever been is a distraction for you."

"That ain't true!" Ste shouted.

"It is, Ste" Doug replied, tears in his eyes.

"Well, you know what? I'm going to open our business, 'cause it's sat out there, losing money," Ste stropped, "when you're ready to talk like a grown up, come in. Otherwise, I'll run it today, and you can run it tomorrow."

He spun around to leave, accidentally knocking a table on the way, stopping himself from clearing it up, because he was in proper strop mode now, and stormed from the flat, slamming the door behind him.

So Doug had given up on him. It was hardly a surprise; it had only ever been a matter of time really. Everyone abandoned Ste eventually. There was no reason not to.

"I heard banging, and not in a relationship affirming way, Steven," greeted a low growl in the doorway next to Doug's, and Ste made a silent resolution not to date anyone else who lived next door to Brendan Brady.

"Piss off Brendan," he snapped, but without conviction, and walked past him without sparing him a glance.

Brendan didn't seem bothered by that, "I wouldn't be pleased to hear that other kind, Steven," the Irishman growled, and now Ste glared at him.

"It's none of your business, Brendan," Ste returned, striding towards the steps, "If I went out and banged a whole rugby team, there would be nothing you could do about it!"

"Don't push me, Steven," Brendan called after him, as Ste's feet hit the steps. It made him hesitate; the growl, the hinted threat, but he didn't want Brendan to know how much he could still affect him, so he moved on, determined not to look back at the face he knew would be so stormy.

He managed to get to the bottom of the flight of stairs without breaking into a run or stopping in grief. He dug through his pockets in search of his keys, and used them to unlock the door to his business with unsteady hands. He darted inside, and, feeling the weight of the destruction of two relationships in 24 hours, collapsed back against the door, trying not to let the soppy tears fall.

He knew he shouldn't be crying over Brendan. He'd had a lucky escape. It took seeing Brendan pinning Doug to the wall so violently to remind him of that. But he couldn't lie to himself that he was crying over Doug. Everything the American had said had been true. Ste cared about him, and deeply; he was part of their family now, but it was Brendan who could pull him in, who could send his heart racing or make his groin twitch with one look. It was Brendan who set that fire within him. No one else came close.

A knock on the glass behind him made him jump.

He turned to see a tall man wearing a green coat standing outside the door, looking in expectantly.


End file.
